I watch artistic gymnastics… oh, every time Halley,s Comet enters our solar system. Alright, every four years. But each time, I remember why I hate gymnastics. Besides the obvious reason of being flat-out boring as hell, the judging is done by bitter old crows that can’t even bend over to put the toilet seat down before they take a squat. Of course, these Olympics were no different, and there was an added bonus of an age controversy. Holy hell! I watched the prepubescent Chinese girls and wondered why the Fédération Internationale de Gymnastique believed their passports were accurate. Are those French bastards blind? Gymnasts must turn 16 during the year of the Olympics in order to be eligible to compete. However, the Chinese girls looked like they were playing dress-up with their mother’s cosmetics before putting on a gymnastic leotard that was a size too big and stepping onto the world stage. While the girls of other countries were showing signs of puberty, the Chinese girls looked like 10-year old boys. For all we know, they may have been 10-year old boys! They had no signs of hip widening, no budding boobies, no curves at all. Hell, those girls still had deciduous teeth in their skulls! I defy you to find a 16-year old girl that still has her baby teeth. C’mon! Maybe girls that smoked five packs of Malrboros a day since they were 3 still have baby teeth at 16, but no one else… and definitely not 83% of one gymnastics team! Hey, maybe eating Chinese cuisine stunts your growth. Think about it. Maybe that’s why they’re so damned short. I think I’m on to something here. Stop scaring us with all the “weed will stunt your growth” rhetoric, and start a study on Peking Duck, dammit. Pass the bong!

Of course, the FIG says the Chinese have provided all the proof they need, in spite of the fact that several documents have been uncovered — even official government documents — that indicates several of the Chinese gymnasts were not old enough to compete. The Opening and Closing ceremonies as well as the 16 days of games prove that the Chinese government spared no expense and worked very hard at showing the world their best face… right down to forging documents that falsify age. Top that, London!

I call bullshit, and the US Olympic Committee should not let this go! The IOC should come up with some sort of radiometric dating-type test to determine age. Carbon-14, anyone? Although, I’m pretty sure the test would be inconclusive on living organisms that aren’t yet 16 years old. Maybe the only way to tell their age is to cut them in half and count the growth rings. Maybe.

Finally, the image for this update. I made a few, but settled with the best one you see here. A close runner up was a group photo of the Chinese Gymnasts for the 2012 London games, which you can see here. I made a third image that’s funny in it’s own right, but I wasn’t happy with it. Check out an early photo of a 2012 Chinese gymnast in this image. It could happen. It probably will!

I actually received a comment on my last blog update that gave me compliments on my writing, but criticized my abundant use of the word “fuck.” My first thought when I read the comment was to do a rant, something like from Eddie Murphy in RAW. He was imitating Bill Cosby saying, “yooooouuu can’t say filth flarn filth flarn filth… in front of people.” He called Richard Pryor and relayed Cosby’s incredulous criticism, and Pryor says, “Next time the motherfucker calls, tell him I said, ‘Suck my dick.’ … I don’t give a fuck… Whatever the fuck makes the people laugh, say that shit… tell Bill I said, ‘Have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up, the Jell-O pudding-eating motherfucker.’” Funny shit, but I thought better of it. The reader is right. I don’t need “fuck” to make my writing better. So, I’ll take his fucking advice and cut the fuck back on the gratuitous fucking use of the word ‘fuck.’ Seriously. I had fun overusing the word in this paragraph, but I appreciate the reader’s candor and will take his advice. Really. Stop laughing!

I was watching the Olympics last weekend, like I said, and my TiVo died. Some of you may know I have two DirecTV TiVos; a Series 1 and a Series 2, both hacked, both with additional storage space. A couple years ago during a sweltering Whidbey Island heatwave, the Series 2 stopped working. My first thought was the weakest link failed — the fan — and the system got too hot and triggered its self-preservation subroutine. Okay, maybe TiVo isn’t that smart, but it still stopped working. Since the Series 1 unit was still going strong, I just pulled the Series 2 from the rack to look at later. Later ended up being last weekend. Michael Phelps was swimming his eighth final for a gold medal, and both my TiVos were DOA. Worst. Timing. Ever.

My spidey senses were telling me it was a power supply problem. My Series 2 TiVo was originally a one-drive system, but my storage upgrade added a second drive (and more heat and more power load) to the system. As a last-ditch effort, I pulled the cover and looked at the power supply. I could see a bulging capacitor on the board, which confirmed my fears of a bad PS. Anyway, I yanked the drives, removing the louder and smaller drive. Using InstantCake, I turned the larger of the two drives into a brand new 6.2a single drive OS and slapped it back into the TiVo. My thought was one drive would be less of a load on the power supply than two drives, and it might power up. I hooked up my ailing TiVo to the TV, plugged in the power cord and… was disappointed. I had power; the case fan was spinning, albeit as fast as a dreidel on January 2, but the drive wouldn’t spin up, and there were no lights lit up on the front. Tha case fan wasn’t slow because of low voltage. The fan doesn’t spin freely when the power is off. It needs to be replaced.

To make a long story even more painfully long, after being plugged in and “dead” for 45 minutes, I was surprised to hear the Series 2 TiVo spin up! It acquired satellite signal and I was watching the Olympics again… although it was now 11pm, and the prime time show was about over. While watching, I did some Googling and found a site that detailed how to fix a TiVo power supply. They replaced the exact capacitor that was bulging on my power supply, so I ordered some capacitors on Monday morning.

Fast forward to this past weekend. I received my mail-order capacitors on Friday, and Saturday morning I pulled the TiVo from the rack again. With my trusty soldering iron fired up, I unscrewed the power supply, and replaced the bad 2200uF cap. I used 25-volt low impedance cap instead of the stock 16-volt cap, and I added a second 25-volt at the C31 position, which was left empty by the factory. It was an easy task, and I couldn’t help but think of my paternal grandfather who taught me how to use a soldering iron.

I carted the TiVo back to the rack, hooked it up, and was disappointed again. No lights, no spinning drive… but that retarded fan was spinning. The bulging capacitor was not the problem. I may have to spend the $69 for a replacement power supply. Of course, $100 will get me a new TiVo. I should go HD, but that shit’s expensive and I have a truck to pay for. What will I do?

On a side note, I won an eBay auction for a Series 1 power supply. Fourteen dollars and 8 days later, I swapped the power supply in my old Series 1 TiVo. Again I was disappointed. While the power supply worked perfectly and powered up the TiVo immediately, the video signal has no color, and when there’s motion on the screen, I get many lines of magenta interference. I thought it was the video cable, but swapping out cables didn’t change the poor image quality. I’m thinking the Series 1 TiVo is dead. I think I’ll wear black and mourn the passing of a 7-year old friend.

That’s all I got for you now, kiddies. I have to go. I have to do my part to conserve energy and properly inflate my tires. See ya next time!

Since I’m stuck inside tethered to the shitter, I watched racing on television. The 92nd running of the Indianapolis 500 and 49th running of the Coca-Cola 600 took place, and I watched ‘em both. I’ve talked about the Indy 500 before, but watching NASCAR is something new for me to be watching. However, I’m by no means one of those sleeveless flannel shirt-wearing, Busch beer-drinking Southern rednecks or Appalachian hillbillies. You know the type, the double-wide trailer-living dumbass that eats, sleeps, and shits their favorite driver by plastering stock car numbers on every worldly possession, including their vehicles and muffintop women. Holy hell, man!

After 1,100 miles and 2,400 left turns, I noticed something. There’s no black people in motorsports. Yeah, I know, not an original observation, but I found it funny. Tina and I started making fun of the sport, and invented our own sanctioned racing series — “Popeyes Fried Chicken Series.” You won’t find this racing series on FOX, ESPN, or even the SPEED Channel, oh no. Thanks to a multi-million dollar deal, the Popeyes Series races will be seen on BET. And just as the Truck Series is different than the Cup Series, so too shall the Popeyes Fried Chicken Series. Here’s some of the highlights:

• There’s no more pace car. Instead, the Popeyes Series will use a chase car painted like a police car with a red and blue light bar and sirens that will stay out on the track during “normal” conditions. This will encourage fast driving and aggression. In the event of caution, the chase car will leave the track so the drivers can resume slower speeds.
• When a car crashes, Popeyes Series drivers must bail out of their car as fast as possible and run like hell from Race officials in the chase car and television helicopters flying overhead. If caught, the driver loses points in the standings.
• The vehicles may only be a 1971 to 1996 Chevrolet Impalas, any year Chevrolet Caprices, second generation Buick Regals, or any 1985 to 1993 Cadilac Coupe de Ville. The wheels must be 22 inches or bigger and wrapped in anything but Goodyear tires. Here’s an example… and another… and another… and another… and another.
• The drivers must blare hip hop music while racing, so loud that the trunk lid and quarter panels rattle with each beat. They must also drive with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand hanging out the window, without sitting upright in the driver’s seat.
• To add a bit of a challenge to the race, each car will be equipped with an unregistered hand gun that may be used while passing to take other drivers out of the race, “drive-by” style. Points will be earned for every drive-by that results in a wreck.
• While it may not meet normal NASCAR safety standards, all Popeyes Series drivers must wear pants that hang around the ass and expose at least six inches of underwear. Helmets are still required, but must have Kangol or FUBU printed them, and be worn sideways.
• All cars must have a passenger seat, and drivers must fill that seat with one of his homies or one of his ‘hos. During pit stops, the pit crews may only supply Olde English 800 or Colt 45 to the driver.

Hopefully you’re laughing at all that nonsense, and not thinking I’m a racist. Racism is, basically, discrimination based on skin color. I’m definitely not discriminating against black people… I’m just making fun of the stereotypes. This is no different than the stereotypes of rednecks and hillbillies mentioned above, or the time I poked fun at the driving skills of Asian drivers 18 months ago, so don’t get your panties in a wad. In fact, here’s a picture of me looking apologetic.

Okay, I had planned on writing more. I made another graphic to segue into another “race” issue, but I think I’ll save it for another day when I’m not playing King Wafwot, ruler Bathroomia. Hope everyone has a great Memorial Day holiday.

On top of that, they’re not the greatest team ever, no matter how much ass felching Madden, Collinsworth, Michaels, Buck, ad nauseam, does. The Colts in week 9, Eagles in week 12, Ravens in week 13, and Giants this weekend showed that the Patriots can be beat. The Giants played a really good game Saturday. Did you watch it? Fuck, it was simulcast on three networks like a goddamn Presidential speech, and had six hours of pre-game coverage (no kidding) on the NFL Network! That matches the longest-ever pre-game coverage of a Super Bowl game! Collinsworth and Gumble were fawning all over themselves, clearly biased towards New England. You could almost hear their gagging as they gobbled up Brady’s cock and caressed his coin purse like a five-hundred dollar whore. I so wish I could have muted the television and listened to a New York radio broadcast. Everyone in broadcasting and the NFL brass wanted New England to go undefeated for the season. Most fans wanted to see justice for spygate. The almighty dollar wins again. I’m hoping they suffer a meltdown in the playoffs; the Patriots are due for a loss…

On a completely different subject, but one that still pisses me off, is Washington State’s new cell phone laws. During the holidaze, the WSP has been running television ads about drunk driving and seat belt, calling it their “emphasis patrol,” which is a politically correct way of saying “you will comply or we’ll rape your ass.” I’ve ranted about seat belts before, so I won’t cover it again. This time I’m peeved at the incongruity of the State in which I live. A new cell phone law, RCW 46.61.668, which goes into effect January 1, 2008, states that you can only be busted for text messaging as a secondary offense. This means that you have to be breaking some other traffic law before you can be fined for text messaging. This is completely stupid when you compare it to the seat belt law which is a primary offense. Somehow, the State feel that text messaging isn’t serious enough to make you stop doing it, unless you kill someone… then they’ll only fine you $124. How can Washington make text messaging a secondary infraction, but putting your arm around someone while driving or not wearing a seat belt a primary infraction? The logic escapes me! I personally watched a woman text messaging in stop and go traffic roll right into the back of another car on Interstate 5. LDriver and I busted up laughing because we watched the whole thing happen. I even directed LDriver’s attention to the impending incident as the woman was coasting; “Hey, watch this… {crunch}”

Let’s put this in perspective, shall we? If you’re not wearing a seat belt, which is not putting anyone in harm’s way, you can be pulled over and fined $124 in Washington State. However, some teenage twat, continually taking her eyes off the road and risking the lives of everyone in her immediate area of the highway (in both directions) while she text messages her slutty girlfriends about Ryan Seacrest, or some such shit, is perfectly acceptable? Great googly-moogly, man! How does that make sense to anyone? Only if Miss Snottybitch is going too fast, or swerving in her lane, or not indicating a turn will she be pulled over, then she be ticketed for both infractions. Yeah. This makes total fucking sense. Thank you RCW 46.61.668, I feel safer now. U R my BBF, LOL.

Even Washington’s new hands-free law (effective July 1, 2008) is a secondary infraction. Why is the harmless act of not wearing a seat belt a primary offense, but threatening the lives of others with a Scion xB hurling down the highway at seventy miles an hour, with a Hello Kitty cell phone glued to your head a secondary offense? Stupid retarded lawmakers. Maybe if Governor Mudcutter's Continental gets broadsided by some jackoff on a cell phone both new laws will be changed to primary infractions.

This very blog update is the 28th update in 2007, and the 158th since January of 2005. Actually, there were a few updates in late 2004, but when I upgraded to WordPress, I left the 2004 updates out. This is probably the longest and most active my domain name has ever been in its 10 years. It started out as a cock-waving novelty. In 1997, not many people had real domain names for their home page. Most were stuck with a home page at theirisp.com/~username. Having your very own domain name roxx0r3d, and was an indication of your l33tness! Okay… maybe that was all in my head.

I was working at an ISP (Galaxynet) at the time, and hosted wafwot.com on their servers. I eventually moved the domain name to its own dedicated server at Galaxynet before moving it to a hosting company in Florida, a virtual private server (VPS) in Renton, and finally a VPS in Seattle. Now I own wafwot.net and wafwot.org, along with wafwot.mobi and several other domain names.

Yes, wafwot.com turned 10 years old this month. I registered it on December 17, 1997, back when the only domain name registrar around was Network Solutions and domain names cost $35 per year. Today, Network Solutions still exists, but there are almost 900 different domain name registrars and domain names can be as low as $5 per year. This got me to thinking about how far things have come since I registered wafwot.com.

Microsoft Internet Exploder 4 and Netscape Communicator 4 were in a browser war, and Windows 95 was the OS that most of us used. Windows 98 was only in beta testing in December 1997, and my i486DX-33 was running OS/2 Warp 4 for the “superior” multitasking capabilities. Yes, I hated Windows even in 1997.

Speaking of wars, modems were king of Internet connectivity in 1997 (for consumers), and USRobotics and Rockwell/Lucent were in a battle to break the 33.6k barrier and deliver 56k speeds over a copper phone line. I was running a Bulletin Board System (which is why I ran OS/2 Warp) in 1997 on that old i486DX with a 33.6k modem. The fastest CPU available was the Intel Pentium II, which ran at a blistering 300 MHz, and an 8MB x 32bit SIMM of EDO memory was over $100. Those were the good ol’ days!

Many people had no idea what an MP3 was in 1997, but thanks to a new program called Winamp, we all learned quickly. No one knew what an iPod was, and in fact, Apple was in serious financial trouble in 1997 before Steve Jobs stepped (back) in to save their happy gay rainbow ass… and look at what the MP3 did for Apple!

There’s plenty more Internet and computer history from 1997, but I’m tired of typing, and should actually go to sleep. Four in the morning is only six hours away. I’ll Wikify this nonsense at work, which better be a short day. If you remember your computer or the Internet from 1997, tell me about it in the comments section. See ya next year!

Of course, the season was full of distractions before the Kickoff game even got underway. If you don’t know about Michael Vick and his dog fighting ring, where the fuck have you been? Go crawl back under your rock and stop reading my blog. Vick was suspended from the NFL indefinitely, pending the outcome of his court battle with the Federal Government and the state of Virginia. Good luck, Mike… you dog-killing, ass bandit motherfucker. I hope Goodell bans you from the NFL for life. You don’t deserve to play Madden NFL 07, let alone play in the NFL.

Then we have Wade Wilson, quarterback coach for the Dallas Cowboys who was busted for purchasing “medication — believed to be human growth hormone — that is banned under the League’s substance abuse policy.” Wilson’s punishment is a five game suspension and $100,000 fine. Ouch! Also, Tank Johnson of the Chicago Bears and Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals were suspended for the first eight games of the season, without pay, for violating the League’s personal conduct policy.

Who else? Oh shit, Pacman Jones of the Tennessee Titans was suspended without pay for the entire season for, well, being a dick. The reasons are too numerous. TV commentators joke that Jones has more arrests than interceptions since being drafted in 2005… and that’s pretty fucking sad if you ask me.

There are others: Anthony Hargrove of the Buffalo Bills, Obafemi Ayanbadejo of the Chicago Bears, Ryan Tucker of the Cleveland Browns, Jarrod Cooper of the Oakland Raiders, Rodney Harrison of the New England Patriots, ad nauseam, have all been suspended four games for violating the League’s substance abuse policy. Every one of these overpaid, materialistic fuckers who were taking steroids should be called cheaters. They’re taking steroids to gain an advantage against their counterparts. No matter how you look at it, it’s cheating. Roger Goodell and the League have a hard four-game suspension if you pop positive on a whiz quiz. I think it should be stricter — suspension without pay for the season! But, when you have Major League Baseball that seems to permit steroids (fuck you, Bonds!), what are ya gonna do?

Speaking of cheating — and the Patriots — the biggest news and most controversial fine handed down by the NFL is the “punishment” of Bill Belichick and the Patriots for Spygate. On the first Sunday of the NFL season, the New York Jets tipped off NFL security that the Patriots were videotaping the Jets’ defensive signals. Four days laster, the League fined Belicheat $500,000 and the Patriots organization $250,000. The Patriots also have to forfeit a first round draft pick if they make the 2007 playoffs, or forfeit a second and third round pick if they fail to make the 2007 playoffs. The Belicheat fine was the maximum allowed fine the NFL could levy, and the biggest fine levied against a coach in the NFL’s 87-year history. But to a coach that’s rumored to make five million a year, is that really a punishment? Yeah, ten percent of my annual net income probably wouldn’t render me homeless, but it would hurt like a bitch. But to the NFL coach of the League’s “flagship” team which is owned by company with a net income of $1.3 billion (yes billion with a B), does the three quarters of a million dollar fine really hurt them? Allow me the opportunity to say, “Fuck no!”

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. All you bandwagon Patriots fans and Belicheat supporters out there can suck a big fat one. You discount the fact that the Patriots were cheating by reasoning “all teams in the NFL are cheating to some degree.” Maybe so, but the goddamn Patriots got caught with their hands in the VCR, motherfuckers, and they should be made an example of! You dumb-asses seem to forget the the Patriots were caught cheating in the same manner three times last season, twice in one game! How fucking blatant do you have to be? How long have they been cheating? Did cheating help them win Super Bowls? I believe it did, and I doubt you’ll ever change my mind on that belief! Did Belicheat think that because he’s the Bill Belichick of the almighty Patriots that he is immune from the League’s wrath? Fuck me, if you compare the punishment to the crime, apparently his is immune! That must be one magical fucking hoodie he wears on the sidelines. Wotta dick!

Others say the loss of a first round draft pick will hurt them a great deal. I also throw the yellow bullshit flag on that. To a team with a salary cap as large as New England’s, I seriously doubt the loss of a draft pick is going to slow them down much, if at all. The Patriots are already 3 and 0 this season — well on their way to the playoffs — and the only real penalty they’ll face is financial. Poor babies. I guess Bill and his gang of cheating steroid users will have to settle for the lesser model Cadillac… or claim a smaller charitable donation on their 2007 taxes. Hang on. Please excuse the delay while I wipe these crocodile tears from my eyes. Boo hoo.

I blame Commissioner Goodell for this injustice. Back in April of 2007, when he suspended Jones and Henry, he was quoted as saying, “We must protect the integrity of the NFL. The highest standards of conduct must be met by everyone in the NFL because it is a privilege to represent the NFL, not a right. These players, and all members of our league, have to make the right choices and decisions in their conduct on a consistent basis.” Yeah. Right. Okay. Did Goodell forget that he said this when he handed down his “punishment” to Belicheat and the Patriots? Somehow I think he did. What the fuck, Roj? Let’s see what he wrote in a letter to these players, who if you recall, were suspended for steroids or just being a punk-ass criminal. “Your conduct has brought embarrassment and ridicule upon yourself, your club, and the NFL, and has damaged the reputation of players throughout the league. You have put in jeopardy an otherwise promising NFL career, and have risked both your own safety and the safety of others through your off-field actions. In each of these respects, you have engaged in conduct detrimental to the NFL and failed to live up to the standards expected of NFL players. Taken as a whole, this conduct warrants significant sanction.” Wotta hypocritical load of shit! Being a gangsta hood off the field, or juicing “warrants significant sanctions,” yet cheating your way to three Super Bowls gets you a slap on the wrist? Bullshit, Mr. Goodell. Bull-fucking-shit, yo!

Belicheat should have been fined his half mil, he should have been suspended for the season for violating the League’s personal conduct policy, and motherfucker, he should lose ALL his first round draft picks. That would have been a truly severe penalty that would put an end to cheating by any other club that’s practicing the same tactics. If Goodell didn’t want to suspend Belicheat for violating the conduct policy, maybe a suspension for being a cocksucking cheater would have fit The Bill? Whatever the case, Goodell dropped the ball. The media, commentators, players, and fans across the League feel that the punishment is far too light for the crime that was committed. And, instead of making an example of Belicheat that would scare the fuck out of any other cheating team, Goodell has set a precedence. If you have half a million, go ahead and cheat, it’s okay. I’ll wager at least half the NFL coaches without a Super Bowl win would drop $500k in a New York second for a ring and trophy.

And I’ve completely used up all my time on one fucking rant. Keep your eyes peeled for another update before the end of September. I still have to tell you about that move I’ve been alluding to. The more I think about it, the madder I become…

Unlike last year, when I bitched about the differences between 2005′s version and 2006′s version, this year there are no complaints. EA Sports have only improved upon last year’s version. I haven’t played it much; I’ve only copied the disc to my XBOX’s hard disk last Thursday. But so far, I’m happy with the game. However, that’s not why I’m writing about it.

Like I said, I went to Blockbuster to rent the game, and it cost me $8.66 with tax! What in the monkey-fucking hell? It’s been about a year since I rented a game from Ballbuster, and I remember it being only $4.99 plus tax. That’s a 60% increase from last year! Is Netflix really hurting them that bad? Is DirecTV cutting into their profits? Goddamn, man. Next year, I’ll probably have to donate a kidney, or a testicle. Fuck!

And as long as I’m in a bitching mood, what the hell is wrong with kids today? Yeah, all of a sudden I’m a quadragenarian with a dislike for pimply-faced bastards with a mouthful of metal on their teeth… and I’m starting to sound like my father.

Let me explain. I went to McDonald's for lunch and placed my order from the comfort of my truck. I made it as simple as possible for the ditzy bitch at the other end of the squawk box; “a #3 with a Coke, and a two-cheeseburger meal with a diet Coke.” I was ordering the #3 for me, and the two-cheeseburger meal for a co-worker. I paid for my order at the first window, and pulled up to the second window for my turd-making McMatter. The slap-happy adolscent slackers were joking around and putting stickers on each other’s back like “kick me” signs. They definitely weren’t paying attention to their jobs, and it was at the peak of lunch hour. When “Miss Likely to Fail in the Real World” handed me the food, I checked the bag. It looked as though they at least got all the items correct, but when I got back to the office I noticed they fucked me in the drive-thru!

First, the diet drink wasn’t denoted by pressing one of the dimples in the lid. The co-worker who ordered the diet Coke is diabetic. Perfect! Time to put a co-worker into a hyperglycemic coma! I tasted one cup, and luckily it was the diet drink. I could tell by the tell-tale taste of chemical plant. When I put the straw in the other cup, it too had diet Coke in it. Fucking assing-off zitsters! Then to make matters worse, when I opened the highly engineered cardboard box that housed my double quarter-pounder with cheese, the sandwich only had ONE hamburger patty, and there was an abundance of ketchup on it. Thanks the for the ketchup sandwich with the hamburger condiment, you dicks! Looks delicious, doesn’t it? Does anyone take pride in their work any more? Is this the new math they’re taught nowadays? All I know is I don’t like it!

I guess I can’t complain too much. They’re minimum-wage slaves slinging burgers for a living. But is it too much to ask I get all the food I paid for? I should complain, but I’m lazy, and I didn’t want to put forth the effort. Am I contributing to their poor workmanship? I hope so. They don’t deserve any more responsibility.

It was not a pretty win, but the Seahawks beat the St. Louis Rams with a 54-yard Josh Brown field goal to win the game 30-28. As they racked up penalty after penalty and let the Rams take a 14 point lead early, I couldn’t help but think about curses.

The Sports Illustrated cover jinx is a famous and fairly well-known curse, but there’s also an alleged Madden curse, where the NFL player featured on the cover of EA Sports‘ Madden NFL video game has a crap year following the release of the game. It happened to Mashall Faulk in 2002, and Michael Vick was injured in 2003. Donovan McNabb was injured with a sports hernia in 2005, and Shaun Alexander broke a non-weight-bearing bone in his foot in 2006.

While watching the ‘Hawks game, a Campbell's Chunky Soup commercial was run, and noticed that they used some old imagery in the Matt Hasselbeck version of the ad. Early in the commercial, it looks like Hasselbeck is tackled by current “Stealers” players; #98 Casey Hampton and #51 James Farrior.

After some cheesy, emasculating scene with his Mommy feeding him lunch in the locker room and giving him a Mommy hug, Hasselbeck is confronted in a stadium tunnel by a Stealers defensive line, that “hits really, really hard,” (poor baby). The Steelers players’ numbers are 63, 75, 78, 68, 47, and 59, and the image of these players is more faded and “shittier” than the rest of the soup commercial. The angle changes, and the names of some of these players are seen on the backs of their jerseys; Greene, White, and Greenwood. Matching the seen numbers and names, they match up to some big Steel Curtain names of the 1970s: #63 Ernie Holmes, #75 Mean Joe Greene, #78 Dwight White, #68 L. C. Greenwood, #47 Mel Blount, and #59 Jack Ham. Way to jump on a bandwagon, Campbell’s. Maybe they used the 1970′s Steel Curtain because the current Stealers’ defensive line sucks without the help of referees. (Nothing like beating a dead horse, eh?) Nevertheless, Hasselbeck should be ashamed.

I got to thinking, though… maybe a Campbell’s Soup endorsement is also an curse. The aforementioned Donovan McNabb and his parents starred in soup commercials, and the Eagles lost Super Bowl XXXIX, McNabb was injured in 2005, and the Terrell Owens circus pitched a tent in Philly in 2005. Now the Stealers and Matt Hasselbeck are starring in soup commercials. Ben Roethlisberger suffered a motocycle accident in the spring. And, while the Stealers are beating the Kansas City Chiefs as I type this, they’re off to a rocky 1-3 start. Hasselbeck’s QB rating is currently 83.4 (his second lowest since 2001), and the Seahawks are struggling to barely win games. Of course, when I googled “campbell's chunky soup curse,” I found it's not an original thought. I suck. Always a day late and a dollar short.

There was something else I was going to talk about, but as usual, I forgot the topic. Sumbitch! I should lay off the crack pipe. If I think of it, I’ll write it down and post another update soon.