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Like every other holiday on the calendar, Independence Day pisses me off. Not because I don’t like holidays. Not because I’m unpatriotic, either. It’s because the 4th of July is one more excuse for people grown-ass men to act like retards on a sugar high at a Justin Timberlake concert.
These pyrotechnic boneheads pour large quantities of beer down their throats then decide to light off illegal fireworks made by bad drivers and sold by drunk Indians… casino, not Slurpee. It’s always the 13 to 35 year old American male who feels it’s their Constitutional right to blow shit up. Of course, it usually ends with a house on fire, or a hand blown off, or an eyeball that’s taken out by stupidity. Fuck, the news in Seattle has a story of a man who was shot, with a gun, in an argument over fireworks. The crowd of people at this fireworks party were so hostile, that paramedics had to move the victim away from the scene in order to work on him before he was pronounced dead. How fucking stupid do you have to be to shoot a man over fireworks, then fight with paramedics who arrive to fix your fuck-up? I won’t open the can of worms about why one needs a gun at a holiday party with alcohol and explosives. That’ll start a pro/con-gun flame war in the comments section, I’m sure… and I can’t have that.
In my own front yard, literally, my neighbors were lighting off Indian fireworks. For two straight nights, they disturbed the peace with fireworks until midnight. On the 3rd, and part of tonight, they were lighting them off in the gravel driveway less than 5 feet from their guests’ vehicles and another neighbor’s Ford Shelby GT. They eventually moved from the driveway to their side yard, where they proceeded to set fire to the grass. Dumb fucking drunk hillbillies.
In a related topic, I read that our crack government officials have passed a bullshit bill (H.R. 692, which has become law number 110-41) that allows the States to lower Old Glory to half-staff to honor the death of members of the armed forces who die while serving on active duty. It’s called the Army Specialist Joseph P. Micks Federal Flag Code Amendment Act of 2007.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for honoring the men and women that die in order to preserve our oil fields (I mean) freedom. In all seriousness, these brave souls deserve to be honored for their sacrifice. No matter what your feelings are on this war, no matter what lies our government tells us, it’s the young men and women of our military that are putting their lives on the line in that cat box of a country. Damn right they should be honored… but lowering the National flag is not the correct way.
Let’s take a look at some figures. The Iraq War started March 20, 2003, which was 1569 days ago. According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 211 members of the armed forces connected to Washington State’s military communities and hometowns have been killed between March 20, 2003 and July 2, 2007. Doing the math, 1569 divided by 211 equals one Washington State service member killed every 7.4 days. Are we really going to lower the Flag of the United States every week? What’s the point of even raising it? Did the House, the Senate, and the President even think about (or even know) how many people have died (and continue to die) in Iraq?
The law is stupid, plain and simple. The law states that governors may lower the National flag in their state. But I feel it belittles a tradition of lowering the flag for honored principal figures of the United States Government and the Governor of a State, territory, or possession, as a mark of respect to their memory. The irony is this law diminishes the ultimate sacrifice of the very people the law is intended to honor — those who have fought to keep the star-spangled banner raised and flying proudly! Lowering it for every service member that dies in the line of duty is too much. Aren’t we supposed to honor our Nation’s fallen service members on Memorial Day? Hello?! Hell, President Truman ordered the flags at half-staff “for the gallant and heroic American soldiers, sailors, marines, and others who gave their lives to their country in World War II.” The greatest generation only got two days to honor the dead from World War II.
All this flag lowering is bullshit! Our president seems to order the flags lowered for any and every event that comes down the pike. The Columbia crash and the death of Bob Hope in 2003, the tsunami victims in 2004, the deaths of Pope John Paul II‘s and Rosa Parks in 2005, the victims (?) of Hurricane Katrina and the death of Coretta Scott King in 2006, the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre back in April 2007, and Wafwot’s itchy hemorrhoids in June 2007.
Okay, believe it or not, I made the last one up… but some of those others really singe the hairs on my scrotal sack. The Pope? What happened to separation of church and state? According to the CIA‘s World Factbook, 78% of the United States is Christian. How many of the remaining 22% felt a religious figure should not be honored by lowering the flag?
Hope, King and Parks were great Americans, but lowering the flag seems a bit over the top, and is inappropriate. The “victims” of Hurricane Katrina? I won’t even go into why I think most of those people died because they refused to get on the bus. Hey dumbasses! Rosa’s bus boycott ended in 1955… in Alabama, not Louisiana!
The tsunami victims? Really? Uhh, Mr. President… they’re not even American! And honoring gun shot victims because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time… it just… I can’t… Ugh! What the fuck?! It was sad, yes. It was a tragedy, yes. Should the flags be lowered to honor students for sitting in a classroom while some dickhead Korean shot at them? I submit that they shouldn’t. Shit. Seung-Hui Cho was probably pissed off because he couldn’t drive well. And how gay is Wikipedia for having an article about a mass-murdering Korean fuckhead?
Alright, I’ve had enough. My blood pressure can’t take it! I have to save what little rage I have left for the commutes in my truck on Fridays. The four of you that read this crap are probably tired of reading my rantings about nonsensical bullshit, anyway. Konnichiwa, bitches.
