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Just like NASA‘s testing of the early Atlas and Titan rockets of the late 1950s and 1960s, SunRocket has crashed and burned, leaving more than 200,000 customers stranded without reliable VoIP phone service.
If you’ve been a long-time reader, or gave up masturbating one weekend to read through past entries of this horse shit, you’ll remember I tried SunRocket's service in January of 2006. I wasn’t too impressed. I talked a couple of former Kwik-E-Mart employees who apparently couldn’t hack it in the cut-throat Squishee industry, and they kept asking me to spoof my MAC address. I eventually sent their Gizmo back to Virginia after canceling service.
Well, in May, I got an email from SunRocket asking me to come back. The email said they had improved their service and technical support. It offered me service for $19.95 a month, free setup, a free Gizmo with free shipping, and the first two months free. That’s a lot of goddamn “free,” people, and SunRocket had a richer feature set than Vonage. I figured, “Why not?”
I got the new Gizmo, and the service worked flawlessly right out of the box. The Gizmo was a newer Linksys device, and it was a simple drop-in replacement for my Vonage adapter. The service was stable, too. There were no dropped calls with crystal clear audio. Things were as perfect as a virgin’s puckered balloon knot.
Apparently, though, SunRocket’s ass was about to fall out, because they were laying people off left and right. The final blow came Monday when they laid off over 200 customer support techs and put a “fuck off and die” message on their phone number. I’m paraphrasing here, folks. Their web page also has a big fuck off on it (at least at this time).
I have to apologize to Tina. I tried calling her four different times within 10 minutes on Monday evening. There was no answer despite having four (yes, four) cordless phones throughout the house, including one in the shitter. I came home and bitched at her for not answering the phone. She said it didn’t ring, but when I called from my cell phone in front of her, the goddamn phones lit up like I was at a PBS pledge drive. I now know that SunRocket’s demise was the reason why the phone didn’t ring. So, to Tina: I’m sorry for being a grouchy little bitch.
Luckily, I was never charged for service by SunRocket. They closed the doors before my two month trial was over. I also never canceled Vonage. All I had to do to switch back to Vonage was walk Tina through swapping the Gizmo for the Vonage adapter… and she did that with little instructions via jabber. Other people I work with, who were also using SunRocket, weren’t so lucky. They have to find a new VoIP provider.
On a completely different topic, I really hate the west coast for its selection of good food. I grew up in Philadelphia, where food is food! The east coast is where good food was born, apparently. I think I’ve talked about this topic before, but it’s really pissing me off, lately. Cheesecake… why is it so difficult to find a good, deep and rich New York-style cheesecake with graham cracker crust out here on the west coast? Where I work, they like to celebrate your birthday by gathering up the employees who aren’t up to their asses in alligators and sing Happy Birthday to You over a cake of your choice. This Sunday is my birthday. When the “birthday committee” asked me my favorite cake, why wouldn’t I say cheesecake? However, the cake they got was not cheesecake. The girls of the birthday committee do a good job of getting a cake and a card signed by everyone. I’m sure they’re limited by the bakery as to what they can purchase, and I really am appreciative of the effort… but cheesecake does not have yellow sponge cake in it! The cake they got had sponge cake on the bottom layer with raspberry jam between a cheesy cream topping that had the consistency of soft margarine. It was tasty, but it wasn’t cheesecake like I know cheesecake. If you really want to try a good east coast cheesecake, take the time to try my cheesecake recipe.
Most people have never heard of a hoagie on the west coast. They’re called subs here, and only seems to be sold by chain stores, like Subway. On a side note… how cool is Wikipedia for having a separate article for hoagies? I thought for sure they’d lump it in with “submarine sandwiches.” Anyway, Subway sandwiches are not hoagies. I can make a better sandwich with hot dog buns and pre-packaged, pre-sliced, vacuum-packed cold cuts from the grocery store… and I so wish I could punch that faggoty-ass Jared Fogle in the throat. If you make a hoagie the way it’s supposed to be made, you’re not going to lose weight. Processed meats high in fat, oil and/or mayonnaise, and cheese — glorious cheese — make a good hoagie. It’s not supposed to be good for you, which is why a hoagie is so goddamn delicious! Jared’s corporate-paid ass is eating lettuce and tomato sandwiches with a turkey condiment; no cheese, no oil or mayo. Let’s call a spade a spade, eh?
A good Philly cheesesteak is even more difficult to find on the left coast. I went to Arby's last night for dinner, since I got home so late. They had a Philly beef sub advertised at the drive-thru squawk box menu, so I thought I would try it. Big mistake. It was very small for a “sub.” The meat was roast beef, instead of steak. I mean, c’mon… roast beef?! And worst yet, it was loaded with mayonnaise. Mayo? What the fuck is mayo doing on a cheesesteak? It tasted like, well, it tasted like a roast beef sandwich with mayo, not even remotely close to a Philly cheesesteak. Shit! In today’s litigious world, maybe the city of Philadelphia should look into suing anyone that makes a “Philly” steak sandwich that doesn’t use steak and white American cheese or cheez whiz. Roast beef and mayonnaise does not a Philly cheesesteak make!
This isn’t rocket science, people. There’s quite a few million east coast transplants on the west coast that would love authentic (or at least close to authentic) east coast food. I’m not saying you can’t find a decent sandwich out here. There are a few places that have carved out a niche business for themselves, making food that passes for east coast food, but it’s never convenient, and always too far away… Of course, if you want some Taylor pork roll, or Scrapple, or even some Tastykakes and Herr's potoato chips, you have to place an order on the Internet.
Where’s my credit card?
LMAO, I totally agree with you about the food. Granted, I have never had true east coast food, but when I go to Quizno’s I order a sub with double the meat, double the sauce. I always get a dirty look from the people when I say no veges at all, just the sandwich. WTF, why the stare? So sorry that I want a sandwich, not a portable salad.
Oh sure…
Apologize to Tina for being a “grouchy little bitch” but to the guys you spend over half your day with… noooo
BitchX!
And on the Philly Cheese Steak issue. OMG dude! DO NOT go to the Blue Fox drive in in OH and order their un_fuckin_godly excuse for a “Philly Cheese Steak,” You will DIE! Right there on their menu is a wonderful picture of a TRUE Philly Cheese Steak sandwich (Sangwich for you Texans) and right below it it says:
Philly Cheese Steak — $5.99
Cheese — $.50 extra
Onions — $.50 extra
I couldn’t belive it! I looked right into Brat’s (the owner) face and called him out on it. How the HELL (didn’t use my normal language) do you make a Philly CHEEEEEESE Steak sandwich without the Mother_fuckin_CHEESE! He just turned and walked away. Four people in line that had just ordered it all of the sudden wondered the same thing. I canceled my “Lose Meat Sandwich” order and walked out, vowing never to return. To this day I haven’t. I will stop by KFC or Albertsons for my own God_Damm_Food! Last time I went they had a sign that stated “No Outside food or drink permitted”. I enjoyed my KFC in my car in front of his Son
I spend four and a half to five hours with you and the other commuters, LDriver… not half the day. The rest of the time, I don’t see you because you’re in your office, and I’m in mine. Besides, I get cranky and bitchy at traffic, not you. A two hour commute one way, should be two hours the other direction… but ooohh nooo. Not with Washington’s itchy sphincter (also known as Everett) sprawled out across I-5! I get in a foul mood when we sit in traffic, inching our way north while minutes turn to hours that we don’t get to spend at home. Besides, I would apologize to you if I wrongly accused your of something that wasn’t your fault.
Goddamn, what are you, a woman? Shut up and drive!
Umm, to correct you, there are #5 handsets (2 Vtech + 3 Uniden =5) in the house, not four, and I *do* appreciate your apology for acting like a beta male (hehehe) waiting on his latte’, but ya already gave an apology for that last week.
As fer your not apologizing to the fellow commuters for your bitchiness… well, if ya got a b/j from them then maybe ya would feel a need to, and it’s not like they cause the back ups through Everett (gee, that doesn’t read right considering the name Everett and “back ups”)… but they don’t blow ya, so all’s fair.
As fer the food on the West coast…it’s not all bad. Each coast has their own style and dishes. If they’d stick to them and not try and replicate the food half-assed. Besides you know I’ll whip ya up a cheesecake and you can have the genuine article-or as close to it as I can get on this coast. (I could also make ya some fried raccoon or snake, too, but…)
And have ya ever noticed (or is it just me with too much time to think?) that “metro/Bi/Beta-males” love lots veggies on their meaty sandwiches, but genuine straight guys (the ones who never suckle wieners) don’t?
Just a thought to ponder….
Well Jim, there was one good thing for your birthday weekend – good dope. This is sure some tastey viddles.
Ya know…Arby’s is kinda known for it’s Roast Beef…and expecting to get authentic Philly food from a chain…well it’s like wiping before ya poop…
I wasn’t expecting AUTHENTIC Philly food. I realize I’m roughly 3000 miles from Philadelphia. However, when ordering a sandwich with the word “Philly” in it, I would expect the ingredients to be somewhat close. Sonofabitch, at least try to get it right. Fuck, just look at this URL. Here’s what it says:
Philly Beef & Swiss Sub:
Just like they make them in Philadelphia, but with Arby’s warm, thinly sliced roast beef with sauteed peppers and onions, topped with melted Swiss cheese and a Parmesan cheese sauce all piled high inside a toasted bun.
Um. I don’t think so. The sandwich I had didn’t have onions or peppers, and there was no goddamn piling of anything… except maybe bullshit! Saying “just like they make them in Philadelphia” doesn’t make it true! That’s like buying a birthday cake, and the baker says, “just like Mom makes,” only to find out it was made with potting soil and earthworms, frosted with dog shit, and the “Happy Birthday” was written with 4-day-old goat semen. Not the 2-day-old goat semen, because that’s the good goddamn goat semen!
The “cheesecake” you had at work sounds like this recipe. Supposedly some famous Brooklyn guy’s recipe…But it’s wrong, IMHO, to call it cheese cake.
Also, perhaps the girls that got you your work cake never had a real cheese cake as a reference? Or else the bakery they used is like all the others that use cost-cutting crap (like lard/shortening instead of real fucking butter in their frosting….) and ‘get by’ with it ’cause yuppies are in such a hurry and very few women like or can even cook let alone bake anymore to know what the real thing should be.
Of course, IMHO, more broads need to get back in the kitchen and learn to cook their man a homemade meal… ’cause if they can’t do that… (and ya factor in the high probability that they don’t give BJs either) how can they call themselves Real Women?
You know wafwot, you oughta think about getting out of being a slave to your job and start ur own eatery that specializes in TRUE east coast cooking.
A true Philly cheese steak
A true Cheesecake
A true east coast Pizza
and Hosting packages starting at $24.99!
Food + Hosting = mmm mmm Internet good
Are you fucking mad? Food and hosting? That’s a customer service nightmare! “My sandwich is too greasy, and I can’t publish my site with Front Page.” No thank you. I’d rather shave my balls with a piece of broken Coke bottle in the bathroom of a 747 while flying through some rough turbulence.
The ideal job for Wafwot, would be to host/run porn web cam(s) with hot chicks eating East Coast food at $3.99 a minute and additional $10.00 for the viewers choice of food item.
PFFT, you could handle it – hell I will work phones for you AND cook the sandwiches. We will have a HUGE customer base, especially if we all customers to use Sharepoint AND have NT4 support. AHH I can hear the cash drawer now! Get Ldriver to reprieve his current role and life is GOOD!