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Like every other holiday on the calendar, Independence Day pisses me off. Not because I don’t like holidays. Not because I’m unpatriotic, either. It’s because the 4th of July is one more excuse for people grown-ass men to act like retards on a sugar high at a Justin Timberlake concert.
These pyrotechnic boneheads pour large quantities of beer down their throats then decide to light off illegal fireworks made by bad drivers and sold by drunk Indians… casino, not Slurpee. It’s always the 13 to 35 year old American male who feels it’s their Constitutional right to blow shit up. Of course, it usually ends with a house on fire, or a hand blown off, or an eyeball that’s taken out by stupidity. Fuck, the news in Seattle has a story of a man who was shot, with a gun, in an argument over fireworks. The crowd of people at this fireworks party were so hostile, that paramedics had to move the victim away from the scene in order to work on him before he was pronounced dead. How fucking stupid do you have to be to shoot a man over fireworks, then fight with paramedics who arrive to fix your fuck-up? I won’t open the can of worms about why one needs a gun at a holiday party with alcohol and explosives. That’ll start a pro/con-gun flame war in the comments section, I’m sure… and I can’t have that.
In my own front yard, literally, my neighbors were lighting off Indian fireworks. For two straight nights, they disturbed the peace with fireworks until midnight. On the 3rd, and part of tonight, they were lighting them off in the gravel driveway less than 5 feet from their guests’ vehicles and another neighbor’s Ford Shelby GT. They eventually moved from the driveway to their side yard, where they proceeded to set fire to the grass. Dumb fucking drunk hillbillies.
In a related topic, I read that our crack government officials have passed a bullshit bill (H.R. 692, which has become law number 110-41) that allows the States to lower Old Glory to half-staff to honor the death of members of the armed forces who die while serving on active duty. It’s called the Army Specialist Joseph P. Micks Federal Flag Code Amendment Act of 2007.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for honoring the men and women that die in order to preserve our oil fields (I mean) freedom. In all seriousness, these brave souls deserve to be honored for their sacrifice. No matter what your feelings are on this war, no matter what lies our government tells us, it’s the young men and women of our military that are putting their lives on the line in that cat box of a country. Damn right they should be honored… but lowering the National flag is not the correct way.
Let’s take a look at some figures. The Iraq War started March 20, 2003, which was 1569 days ago. According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 211 members of the armed forces connected to Washington State’s military communities and hometowns have been killed between March 20, 2003 and July 2, 2007. Doing the math, 1569 divided by 211 equals one Washington State service member killed every 7.4 days. Are we really going to lower the Flag of the United States every week? What’s the point of even raising it? Did the House, the Senate, and the President even think about (or even know) how many people have died (and continue to die) in Iraq?
The law is stupid, plain and simple. The law states that governors may lower the National flag in their state. But I feel it belittles a tradition of lowering the flag for honored principal figures of the United States Government and the Governor of a State, territory, or possession, as a mark of respect to their memory. The irony is this law diminishes the ultimate sacrifice of the very people the law is intended to honor — those who have fought to keep the star-spangled banner raised and flying proudly! Lowering it for every service member that dies in the line of duty is too much. Aren’t we supposed to honor our Nation’s fallen service members on Memorial Day? Hello?! Hell, President Truman ordered the flags at half-staff “for the gallant and heroic American soldiers, sailors, marines, and others who gave their lives to their country in World War II.” The greatest generation only got two days to honor the dead from World War II.
All this flag lowering is bullshit! Our president seems to order the flags lowered for any and every event that comes down the pike. The Columbia crash and the death of Bob Hope in 2003, the tsunami victims in 2004, the deaths of Pope John Paul II‘s and Rosa Parks in 2005, the victims (?) of Hurricane Katrina and the death of Coretta Scott King in 2006, the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre back in April 2007, and Wafwot’s itchy hemorrhoids in June 2007.
Okay, believe it or not, I made the last one up… but some of those others really singe the hairs on my scrotal sack. The Pope? What happened to separation of church and state? According to the CIA‘s World Factbook, 78% of the United States is Christian. How many of the remaining 22% felt a religious figure should not be honored by lowering the flag?
Hope, King and Parks were great Americans, but lowering the flag seems a bit over the top, and is inappropriate. The “victims” of Hurricane Katrina? I won’t even go into why I think most of those people died because they refused to get on the bus. Hey dumbasses! Rosa’s bus boycott ended in 1955… in Alabama, not Louisiana!
The tsunami victims? Really? Uhh, Mr. President… they’re not even American! And honoring gun shot victims because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time… it just… I can’t… Ugh! What the fuck?! It was sad, yes. It was a tragedy, yes. Should the flags be lowered to honor students for sitting in a classroom while some dickhead Korean shot at them? I submit that they shouldn’t. Shit. Seung-Hui Cho was probably pissed off because he couldn’t drive well. And how gay is Wikipedia for having an article about a mass-murdering Korean fuckhead?
Alright, I’ve had enough. My blood pressure can’t take it! I have to save what little rage I have left for the commutes in my truck on Fridays. The four of you that read this crap are probably tired of reading my rantings about nonsensical bullshit, anyway. Konnichiwa, bitches.
When you first started mentioning about the flag law, I was thinking you unpatriatic fuck, but now that I have reached the end of your rant I TOTALLY agree with you. Memorial day isn’t a shopping day people, show some respect on the day that is designated for you to do so. I think we need to get a law passed about never lowering the flag, it needs to be flown proudly every day.
See, I feel there are very valid reasons to lower the flag to half-staff. When a U.S. President dies, the flag should be lowered. When a Supreme Court Justice, Senator, or Representative dies we should lower the flag (but no where near as long as 30 days like we do for Presidents). I feel we should lower the flag after a war in honor and memory of our fallen service members. On Memorial Day, the flag is lowered until noon, then raised for the remainder of the day… which coupled with the National holiday and local parades is a nice memorial. We should never lower the flag for a foreign leader, mass-murder victims, religious leaders, or actors! The flags should only be lowered for principal government officials and real moments of National mourning (like mourning the dead after a war and on Memorial Day). If we don’t put a stop to the willy-nilly half-staffing soon, then we’ll be lowering the flag because Paris Hilton went to jail, or some overpaid sports “star” got suspended for drug usage… “Oh my god! The Scooter Libby has a hang nail and Hilary Clinton has a nasty burning sensation when she pees! Lower the flags!” We need real guidelines… and take control of the flagpoles away that teary-eyed, God-fearing, southern hick of a leader. Put a ribbon magnet on your bullet-proof limo and Air Force One, and leave our flags flying high!
I agree with you on the Flag thing. There needs to be a “wow, the Flag is down” thing. BTW, the Pope is a Head of State. Has nothing to do with the Church.
What happens if military folks die on Flag Day or Memorial Day? Will the Flags go half-staff or stay raised as they should be?
(Knowing how this “Education Governor” is, the Flag will be lowered every time her twat itches from a yeast infection.) Also kinda “interesting” that the bill’s main sponsor will be up for re-election in ’08….But that couldn’t have a thing to do with it, right??
And speaking of Elections…
There’s also discussion, that “Go Green” CA Gov. Terminator , will run as VP on Bloombergs ticket, if he runs in ’08. It’s my understanding that Presidents and VP’s have to be native-born. Though to hear various pundits talk about it, they’ claim “It”s unclear, if the V.P. has to be native born…and it’s no secret Gov. Terminator wants that top spot (Maybe he’s heard too much about the joy of being President from his wife’s family?)
C’mon now, Vatican City may be a sovereign “state,” but it’s an enclave within Rome, a walled enclave (like Berlin?) … and it’s only 108.7 acres in size. Compare that to podunk Oak Harbor’s 5,824 acres (9.1 square miles). You can fit 53 Vatican Cities into Oak Harbor city limits and still have enough room to park ninety (yes, 90) Ford F-150 trucks! “C’mon down to Crazy Ratzinger’s Used Trucks and RVs today, where you’ll thank God for our heavenly no-money-down deals!”
The Pope is ex officio head of state of Vatican Acres (is the place for me. God livin’ is the life for me), which means he’s head of state because he’s Pope. He’s a head of state because “they” say so. Oh yeah, they have an army… a hundred faggoty-ass men in striped leotards called the Swiss Guard. “Leave the Pope alone, or I shall cook you breakfast and do your laundry” (of course, said in Latin). Vatican City also has a power plant, a fire department, a police “force,” a post office, a bank (ATMs really), a grocery store, a train station, and its own Internet top-level domain. There’s even a radio station and a newspaper, if you can believe that. Given the 108-acre size of Vatican City, don’t you think it would save some Church money to just have a guy yelling the news and playing MP3s on a boom box in St Peter’s Square?
All due respect to the Pope, but calling him a head of state because he lives in Vatican City is like calling me basketball player because I own a basketball. I don’t own a basketball, but for the purposes of my example, let’s pretend I do.
However, I know that Vatican City (which is really a fucking city, people) is recognized as a sovereign state by all other nations, but that sovereign state doesn’t exist without the Church. Wikipedia even says that “Vatican City can be said to be the governmental capital of the Catholic Church.” And you know it’s true, because it’s on Wikipedia!
Without a round orange bouncy ball (and tall black men), there is no basketball.
The Pope has a long history of ties to the USA, and it’s Presidents. The Pope can use his “connection to God” to sway foreign diplomats and help ease political tensions, (when convenient to do so) as using him as a “middle man” gives countries the appearance of not dealing directly with those said other countries and leaders.
Not to mention it used to tick off the mother country (England) with those ties to a Catholic entity, considering their past history with the Catholic leaders.
Add to that, the connection of how people vote and their specified religions, church attendance etc.
…and the Pope is also an advocate of safe driving practices (including seat belts).
Shit, His Pimpness doesn’t wear a seatbelt in that pimp…err, popemobile. Don’t believe me? Check out this huge photo of Papa Benedetto without his seatbelt.
This is true..
But it’s one of the “In” causes nowadays… Seat belts , regulating weed, rehab for the do nothing bimbos and promotion of vibrating cock rings.
and don’t forget the “need” for warning labels on Starbursts as they can cause jaw injuries and Workman’s Comp for Bj’s…..
It’s early bit………….
http://www.kwaker.com/HappyBirthdayTits.gif
For the Love Of God, Country, and !
You got yerself a pic of a hottie draped in a 48-star flag, smiling attractively. What else really NEEDS to be said?
Blowing shit up is COOL. Used to invite you over to my place to blow shit up. Blowing shit up is very male and very FUN.
Keeping your neighbors awake until 3AM is NOT cool.
Time to buy some fireworks, baby!
– Art
The picture of the hottie in the flag was a statement representing this country’s disrespect of the American flag. I had other choices for the blog photo… (here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here) but, I went with the 48-star naked bitch because I liked it best.
We’re in a disrespectful period where we lower our flags when a Hollywood “legend” dies, or the President mispronounciates a word. Anti-war soccer moms adorn their Windstars with magnetic “Support Our Toops” flags right next to an “Impeach Bush” sticker, while gung-ho rednecks put US Flag sun screens on the INSIDE back window of their pickup trucks… making sure not to cover up the NRA sticker on the OUTSIDE of the window.
Since September 11, 2001, it has been in vogue to prance around with a flag on your car, your house, your underwear, your birthday cake, ad nauseam… like it’s a patriotic duty.
I’m not saying people shouldn’t be patriotic. If you want to fly the US Flag, go right ahead. Be respectful of the Flag, though. Fly it on a flag pole, or from your house, following all flag protocols… that’s all I’m saying. Be respectful. The flag is a symbol of our freedom. A symbol of honor to live under it. If we depict the flag in our clothing, food, cars, and toiletries… and lower it every time my neighbor’s cat coughs up a foamy wad of grass, then what’s the point of fighting for it?
You left out all those fuckers who *burn* our nations Flag, even though they have no problem accepting all the perks that living in this country gives them…(whether they’re here legally or not.)
IMHO, too many men and women have died so we’d have the right and ability to Raise the Flag, to have it’s glory diminished buy a bunch of over-paid nut sacks and twunts in Washington, D.C. in an effort to gain local votes for their next election bid(s) by passing some retarded law.
There’s too much political and social correctness going on lately. You can’t say shit in the realm of free speech, or some groups of moms or religious zealots get up in arms over it, but you can apparently live here and bash the country while trouncing around the streets waving the flag of the place you came here from and that’s ok.
And God forbid they say fuck or shit on t.v. and some inept parent who’s too busy smoking their crack pipe or working that extra shift to buy that fourth car hears about their children “being exposed” to it-all hell breaks lose. Too many people have their priorities skewed and think only of ‘what’s in it for me’ and ‘what will get me kudos’ and screw everyone and everything else.
There is something to be said for the way shit used to be, with the men working, moms at home to watch the kids they shoot out… and kids being taught respect for others.