Home
Well, another storm blew into Western Washington, bringing high winds, then snow, now bitter cold. Happy 2007.
As I start typing this update, my alarm clock with indoor/outdoor temperature display reads 28°F outside, and it’s the lunch hour. Temperatures are expected to dip into the low teens or single digits over night. Brrr! It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra outside. I took some new pictures, but be warned, they’re just boring pictures of snow… just like the one featured in this update. All this snow and frigid temperatures has made my toes and fingers cold, as well as my nose. What am I, a puppy? And thanks to Weezie Jefferson (one of our carpoolers who doesn’t know how to cover his fucking mouth when coughing), I have a nasty cough and a case of the sniffles. Pass the goddamn Kleenex.
I’ve been telecommuting during this latest round of icy Mother Nature ass rape. I am lucky to work for a company that allows me to work from home when the weather turns ugly.
Okay. It’s now after dinner, and I’m sitting in bed typing this update. The TV is on History International, and I just saw a commerical on for a free diabetes glucose meter from Liberty Medical. What the fuck is wrong with Wilfred Brimley? Why can’t he pronounce diabetes? It’s dia-bee-tees, you old cocksucker… not dia-bee-tus. My Dad died of ESRD, so I’m a little sensitive about diabetes. What of it? While linking Brimley’s name to Wikipedia, I was mildly amused to see the article mention his oddball way of saying diabetes. I found the video on YouTube by Stephen Colbert.
Where was I? Oh yeah, telecommuting. Since we’ve been working from home, I’ve been keeping a close eye on the weather forecasts. The weather guessing weenies on the network affiliates in Seattle are the epitomy of gay. Neither rain, sleet, snow, or gloom of night will keep the weather guesser from trying to be funny. It’s not really their childish jokes or silly little comments that piss me off, it’s the anchors that force their fake laugh. It sounds like a bunch of snooty housewives at high tea. I so want to smack each one of them.
Of course, the next biggest story besides the weather is the commutes. When the snow makes the roads bad in this state, drivers lose their motherfucking minds! People with 4×4 vehicles think their impervious to bad weather. I just laugh when 99.9375% of them are found upside down, in a ditch, cell phone (and pocket contents) on the ceiling, and the driver is suffering from first degree burns caused by the spilled latté. This time, like last, people couldn’t get their vehicles home, and literally abandoned them on the side of the road. The freeways and arterial roads were littered, just littered, with hundreds of vehicles. Millions of dollars worth of BWMs, hybrids, and SUVs just left on the road. And I swear to God, every time the news crews shoved a camera in the face of some driver that left a vehicle on the road, that driver was asian, or female… or both! Be afraid.
As I wrap this up, the temperature is now 24°F, and is expected to drop to 18°F. I just called my manager, and we’re heading into the office tomorrow. I’m gonna freeze my freakin’ ass off. I’ll fucking bet my swollen left testicle that 5:00am is the exact time the mercury hits 18°F. I’m gonna have to warm up the truck before heading out at 4:55am. I just hope that we don’t sit in any stop and go traffic for six hours. What a terrible way to start a weekend.
Go Seahawks!
