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Here’s a shitty picture of Qwest Field. It was shot through the windshield of a car about five minutes ’til 8 in the morning. Here’s the Reader's Digest version of how I came by this picture.
Our “driver ’cause he has to be” (I’ll call him Typhoid Mary for the sake of anonymity) went to New Mexico for vacation last week to celebrate his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Congratulations to them! Fifty years is a seriously long time. That’s half a century, and I’ll bet most of you that read this drivel haven’t even been alive that long… myself included! Anyway, while he was there, Mary picked up an evil little flu virus that apparently makes you perform the Signs of the Cross while praying for a swift death. On his first day back, he was feeling normal until we were about halfway through our soul-crushing, 85-mile commute from Oak Harbor to Seattle. Suddenly, the vicious bug conjured up a half a barrel of diarrhea and barf. Luckily, Mary was able to maintain his composure (and his Krakatoa colon o’ watery feces) long enough to get off the freeway and find a gas station restroom. You know you’re sick when a gas station restroom is a desired respite.
After Typhoid Mary got back from spraying ass pee and shouting groceries, I tried to get him to turn around and head back to Oak Harbor. He really didn’t look well, and should have been in bed. All of us can VPN into our network and work from home… but Mary had one of the other carpoolers finish the drive. We headed down Highway 99, went through the Battery Street Tunnel, and promptly missed our exit to the city. So, southward we headed until we got off at the stadiums where I took the picture above. The rest of our trip from SoDo to the Westin was uneventful.
I know I probably could have told you how I took that picture without all the toilet humor… but what’s the fun in that? Once we got to work, he turned out the light to his office, closed the door, and slept at his desk all day… Poor Mary was suffering, and he couldn’t go home because three other employees had to stay and work. Supervisors had no sympathy by refusing requests to leave early… and that’s just fucked up any way you look at.
While our regular carpool driver was on vacation, I was driving my thirsty truck to Seattle and back. The whole idea turned my balloon knot inside out. Historically, my truck gets about 9 to 10 miles per gallon, and the thought of driving 193 miles round trip for 5 days had me crapping my pants. At 10 mpg, I’d have to spend $250! Who am I, Bill Gates? I ain’t got that much room in my budget. But, I decided to put premium gas in my truck for the trips, and my truck seemed to like it much better than the regular unleaded. If you check out my gas economy link, you’d see my last three fill-ups got 13.8, 14.3, and 14.6 miles per gallon. I still spent over $155 for four days of driving, but the truck did much better than I thought it would. (I only had to drive four days thanks to our wild November weather.)
Stay with me here, I’m gonna do some math. I know some people think math is voodoo, and would rather eat tobacco out of the ass of a pilgrim than multiply numbers… but here goes. The trip is 193 miles round trip. At my historical 10 miles per gallon, it would take 19.3 gallons of fuel to make the trip. A gallon of regular unleaded currently costs $2.639 in my area, and 19.3 gallons (for one day’s travel to work and back) would cost me $50.93. Ouch! With me so far? Let’s move on. By putting the higher octane premium unleaded in the truck, I was spending more per fill-up, but using less fuel. Here’s comes more math. The trip is still 193 miles round trip, but now I’m getting 14.6 miles per gallon, which means I’m only consuming 13.2 gallons of fuel to make that trip. Premium unleaded costs $2.859 per gallon, and 13.2 gallons costs me $37.74. That’s a savings of $13.19 per trip! It costs roughly $6.60 more to fill both tanks full of premium gas, and I can make two round trips and save $26.38… and still have gas left over to go through the Jack in the Box drive-thru and spend that $19.78. Some people think of how much beer they can buy with their savings, I think of how many cheeseburgers I can buy. Pass the salt.
I’ll leave ya’ll with that. I know I’ve been falling down on the job like an octogenarian prostitute in stiletto heels. It’s really hard to find the time lately, now that my commute is sucking all my free time. I really will try harder. When I think of something to write about, I write it down, and I have a few things jotted down. I just need to apply myself when I have the time, instead of being selfish and catching up on my sleep. My annual Christmas letter has migrated into my blog, now that there are less family members to send it to… so there’s that to look forward to in the coming days. Keep your RSS feeds open!
I think how much dope I can buy not cheeseburgers there Randy bo bandy.
Praise Jesus Pass the Bong