…to a deluxe office suite in the sky. The Jeffersons reference aside, the company I work for has relocated its corporate headquarters from Redmond to the Westin Building in downtown Seattle. The next step is to relocate the Oak Harbor employees to the Westin then close the Oak Harbor office. So, within the next month or two, Tina and I will be moving to join the latte-sipping, flannel-wearing, tree-hugging, luxury car-driving crush of humanity that is the Seattle metropolitan area.
The whole idea has my balloon knot tighter than Rick Santorum's sphincter in a leather bar during gay pride week. I moved to Whidbey Island in February of 1990, and have lived here ever since. I love the laid-back lifestyle and beauty of the surroundings. It may not have been the greatest place when it comes to finding jobs or commanding big paychecks, but I’ve never had trouble finding work in the fields I work in. That means I’ve never had to flip burgers or greet shoppers at Wal*Mart. I’ve carved out a decent and acceptable life for myself here on Whidbey Island for almost seventeen years. Soon, that era of my life will be over and a new chapter will begin. I’m sure I’ll talk about my time on Whidbey in the next couple months…
Since the cost of living is more expensive in the Land of Starbucks, the company gave me another pay raise; my second raise in 4 months. It’s not as much as I wanted, but I won’t be assuming any additional duties, yet. Tina has been scouring the realtor web sites and MLS listings trying to find a new home that we can afford. We’ve decided that it may be cheaper to take on a mortgage than to put money into some slumlord’s pocket. Of course, all we can afford is manufactured homes in trailer parks. Think of me what you will, but trailer parks are full of toothless, meth-addicted hillbillies whose only income is scale pay from The Jerry Springer Show.
Anyway, keep reading over the next couple months for the continued saga of our move to the big city. Hopefully we’ll find a nice place we can afford so I don’t have to commute fives hours a day.
On a completely different topic, are you as sick and tired of Peyton Manning as I am? Jebus H. McChrist, man, they’re shoving him up our ass sideways. If you watch television at all, you’ve seen this farm boy whoring himself out for anyone who comes down the pike. In addition to the NFL touting him as the preferred face of white bread quarterbacks, you’ll also find Peyton Manning selling DirecTV satellite television, Mastercard caredit cards, Sprint Nextel wireless phone service, Gatorade sports drink, Reebok apparel, and NFLshop.com. Does Manning not have enough money being one of the highest-paid quarterbacks in the NFL? Does he really need the endorsement money? Fuck, man, give it a rest already.
I'm your typical middle-aged fat-ass struggling from paycheck to paycheck. It's the American fucking dream, don't ya know. I drive a 2005 Ford F-150 pickup truck.
Wow Jim,
I can’t believe your moving. You know I thought that I would really miss the Island too, but it is nice even for someboy like me who wants to be left in front of a computer 23/7 to be in a bigger place. You might find the same thing as well, and if your work doesn’t pay you enough to live on (or you get tired of it) you can certainly find lots of higher paying computer jobs down there.
Yeah, being on the Island for so long, I’ve become quite comfortable with my surroundings. I’m going to have a full-on ulcer by the time this shit is done.
I was used to a big city before moving here; I grew up in and around Philadelphia. I took the bus to downtown (from two different towns) when I was going to college. I know how to drive and live around a city. That doesn’t mean I like it. That doesn’t mean I want to do it again. Now that I’m fully two months into my life as a curmudgeon, I don’t really like the idea of living in or near a big city. I think I need to take up drinking. Heavily.
Good luck in the big city Jim. We need to get together once more before you leave. Like Kyle said if Iso gives you the shafter more you can always find work else where and maybe more dinaro too – you know speakeasy is down there and I know they pay considerably more.
Kyle Stoddard is a zoophila master(baiter)
What can I say Jake, Enumclaw and colon perforation by a horse just sound great. At least I am not afraid of a steak.