More bullshit from another asshole with a blog

Balls on a motherfucking plate
22Aug06

Posted by wafwot

08-21-06_1216.jpg You bastards. Get your mind out of the gutter. This picture is of a co-worker’s lunch. When he plopped the spaghetti and meatballs onto the plate, two meatballs looked like eyeballs. A little help with an eating utensil, and the smiley face had a mouth. We chuckled about it and snapped this picture because we thought it was funny. Fuck you if you don’t find it funny.

I’m gonna be all over the place with this update. I got a couple of things that kinda piss me off. I gotta vent.

Yesterday, there was cop parked in the lot across the street watching traffic. There’s a back story to this point. The co-worker with the spaghetti face also does a lot of walking and riding of his bike to and from work. The rest of us fat-asses drive our cars everywhere, even to the McDonald's 1500 feet down the street. Anyway, Washington state law (RCW 46.61.235) says vehicles must stop at intersections to allow pedestrians and bicycles to cross the road within a marked or unmarked crosswalk. The drivers of Oak Harbor don’t appear to know this law. Maybe they’re flapping their gums on their cell phone, or sipping on a latté, but my co-worker regales us with a story of near death while crossing our town’s crosswalks almost on a daily basis. So, back to that the cop that was staked out across the street. We actually heard him using his PA speaker to scold drivers that didn’t stop in the crosswalk. Talk about lazy! You would think he would be pulling drivers over for breaking a law… but you’d be wrong. He was ignoring the drivers that were threatening the lives of pedestrians, and nailing the speeders. I guess there’s more money in speeding tickets than there is in crosswalk violators. Fucker.

What the fuck ever happened to manners? I know I’m an old bastard, but I was taught to be polite, and to excuse yourself if you’re trying to get someone’s attention or if you interrupt someone. This includes walking between people having a conversation, or in front of someone watching television. Grocery and department stores are the worst. Ninety-nine percent of people that walk between me and the products I’m looking at on the shelves never say “excuse me.” They just walk their rude asses around like they own the goddamned place. Just last Saturday, some retarded fucker was turning his shopping cart 90° and blocking the entire isle while he compared products. Who taught this dick how to shop?

Finally, they guy I got the broke-dick Lumina from wants it back. Hallelujah! The car is totaled, really. Replacing the transmission would cost more than the car is worth. That spells totaled in my book, but he says he going to get a used transmission and have a friend install it. Whatever. Good luck! I signed that title over fast and reported the “sale” before he left my office. Those cars have been in front of my house so long… the neighbors will think I’ve moved when they’re finally gone. One down, one to go.

Twunt and Mountain Dew
17Aug06

Posted by wafwot

08-15-06_1234.jpg At lunch on Tuesday I made a run for the border. In front of me was some tree-hugging, Subaru-driving soccer mom with a back seat full of waterhead children. It took her close to a two minutes to place her order at the order-placing squawk box. The drive-through lane loops around the building, and after placing her order, Soccer mom made the turn for the pickup window. I placed my order quickly. I hate holding up the line, especially during the lunch hour. I ordered a grilled burrito, fiesta potatoes, and an extra-large Mountain Dew (I was thirtsy, sue me). I made it half-way through the turn, and in front of me was Mommie Dearest, out of her vehicle, tending to the her spawn in the back seat. I snapped this picture just as she was getting back into car. Her behaviors didn’t slow up the line, but fuck, place your oder and pull up! Now, I tell you this for a reason. After I picked up my fart-producing burrito and tankard of Mountain Dew, I turned the corner to leave the drive-thru, and who’s still in the lane? You guessed it. She either saw me coming, or heard my stereo, but started to pull out. I was turning left, she was turning right, but stopped short. I had to hit the brakes and make a hard left to avoid clipping her rear-left bumper. This maneuver sent forty-four ounces of sticky Mountain Dew to the passenger-side floor. Fucking twunt! Call me an asshole, but if tending to your children inhibits your ability to operate a motor vehicle, either leave the kids at home, or don’t leave the goddamned house! A third of a gallon pop dripped from the passenger door of my truck as I made it back to the office. Simply perfect! I couldn’t have that, so I went to the car wash across the street and vacuumed out the lake of pop, then had the truck washed so there was no stickiness on the exterior. I’ll have to get out there this weekend and take the door sill and kick panel out so I can clean under the carpet to prevent any damage. Shit.

Sunday, August 6
06Aug06

Posted by wafwot

blueangels1.jpg No, I didn’t go to Seafair to see the Blue Angels and the hydroplane races on Lake Washington. However, I was slightly highly pissed that KIRO-TV preempted seven hours of programming, including the final round of the Buick Open, to show us boat races and an airshow. I wanted to watch golf! I watched the third round on Saturday, and was disappointed to see boat racing was going to prevent me from watching the final round. I called DirecTV to see if they would enable the national CBS feed for 4 hours, but they wouldn’t. I guess there’s a federal law that forces them to “respect the local TV markets’ boundaries, which are established by Nielsen Media Research.” Shit. Who the fuck wants to watch boat racing for seven hours? How exciting, rocket boats with names like Miss Beacon Plumbing, Oh Boy! Oberto, and Miss Who The Fuck Cares Who Sponsored going round in circles. (Okay, I made that last one up.) I did, however, catch their coverage (if you want to call it that) of the Blue Angels airshow. As ridiculous as it sounds, while watching the Blues performing a close pass, anchor Steve Raible actually told viewers, “Don’t try that at home.” Seriously? Was he trying to be funny? Damn, wotta douche! I never get to have any fun with my $35 million F/A-18 Hornet. How politically correct do we have to be? I kept tabs on golf with “Live Scoring” on pgatour.com. Tiger won again; his 50th career win and second Buick Open.

Friday I found out that diabetics have to be careful about infection in their feet. Whodathunkit? I knew about eyes and kidneys. My Dad went blind from diabetic retinopathy before dying of ESRD and Myasthenia gravis. I actually have a glucose meter and test my blood sugar levels periodically just to keep tabs. I did three tests on Saturday. A fasting test after waking up showed my glucose level at 87 mg/dL. I tested my glucose again 30 minutes after eating two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a Pepsi. This time I tested at 132 mg/dL. Two hours after the second test I was at 101 mg/dL, so I guess I’m not diabetic… yet.

When I came home from work on Friday, I pulled into my driveway with the stereo just a thumpin’. The bass was so low and loud, I tripped the neighbors car alarm. I think that’s just funny!

I uploaded my first video to Wikimedia Commons on Saturday. It’s a 15-second video of a San Francisco cable car on a turntable in Union Square. I shot the video in 2003 when I went to the Linuxworld Expo. I had to convert it from MPEG-1 to Ogg Theora.

And… there was something else I wanted to write about, but I’ll be goddamned if I can remember what it was. So I guess I’ll just end this entry here.