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I work with some nasty-ass people. This picture is of the toilet in the Men’s room at our office. There are nine men that work there, and I know I didn’t leave this stinky, disgusting mess.
We have a cleaning crew come in on Wednesdays to vacuum, take out the trash, and clean the restroom fixtures. However, this sloppy mess was made on Tuesday morning. With only nine men working in the office, you’d think we could clean up after ourselves. But apparently, if our mommies aren’t around to clean up after us, we turn into poo-flinging monkeys with the poorest of bathroom manners. So, in an effort to educate people, here’s a list of rules for a bathroom:
- As the women say, “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.” I say, “If you piss on the seat or rim, wipe it up!”
- Explosive diarrhea should be taken home. If you’re sick, go home! But if you must do that here, clean the seat, you sick motherfucker!
- If your shitbomb leaves streaks in the bowl, use the brush next to the toilet to clean it. No one wants to see that!
- For fuck’s sake, use the air freshener sparingly. Nothing’s worse than the smell of your shit and flowers that brings tears to everyone’s eyes.
- After doing your business, wash your hands! You have to touch phones, door knobs, and keyboards. No one wants to touch a surface that has your smegma on it!
- Don’t leave Lake Washington on the counter. Wipe it down after washing your hands!
- Finally, put the paper towels in the can, not next to it.
